So, a quick summary. In the previous blog entry I talked about the ties that bind, those unseen but definitely felt cords that keep us connected to others in relationships of all categories. Romantic, friendship, family, work. In some situations, these are not healthy ties. They can keep us from moving on, moving forward. They can stress our interactions. They can create difficulty in a work environment. And family gatherings? Yowza.
If the ties that bind don’t feel blessed at all but instead pull us down like a burden, what can we do? Certainly many have sought counseling and that is a very valid opportunity to sort through the complications. Maybe, though, you have some of this in your life and it’s not to the extreme of needing an in depth sorting. Maybe you simply wish for something to try on your own.
Something to remember: releasing energetic cords doesn’t mean you will never see or relate to the other person again. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship. This is important, because many times we actually have to keep relating to the other person. Untying the energetic cords means you can create, on your terms, a new relationship. One that is far healthier.
You release the bad parts and then you build on much stronger ground.
Let me add a side note here. I refer to cutting the cords or releasing the cords or untying the cords and while they get you to the same place, the process is not exactly the same. Cutting etheric cords is a firm process. Sometimes a relationship will require that. Releasing or untying them is somewhat…well, I think “gentler” is the best word. That’s what we’ll explore here today.
Now, the first thing you need to do is find some quiet time in a quiet place. Why? Because your first step is to consider the cord that is binding and to consider why. What is it you are feeling and who is on the other end of the feeling? I like to jot things down or doodle them in my journal, so for me this process would involve paper and pen.
I am feeling…what? Stressed when I am with this person. Stressed how? Our interactions make my head ache. My throat feels constricted. My stomach hurts. I feel hot. Or cold. My shoulders tense. After our interactions I am exhausted. Or wound up. Or extremely hungry. Or I lose my appetite.
The point of that is to figure out just HOW you feel. And with whom. If you aren’t sure about this whole energetic cord business but you do realize you have some issues interacting with some people, start keeping notes in a journal about how you feel when you are with them or when you hear from them or whatever. Write down what sort of interaction you had and what sort of reaction you had. It’s interestingly enlightening.
So that’s the first part. You can’t act without knowledge.
The next step is to actually visualize the cord. Is it dark and heavy, thick chains linked together that weigh you down (bleh!)? Is it more like a rubber band, somewhat stretchy, giving a bit of room but ultimately pulling you back? Visualizing lets you have something to wrap your mind around, literally. Picturing the tie that binds means you can imagine exactly how that tie will release.
This makes sense, doesn’t it? How can you take yourself through releasing a cord if you can’t actually have an image of it? So take some time with those two steps.
Once you are set with the nature of the cord, how you feel with it in place, and who is on the other end, you’re ready to release. Settle down. Breathe deeply, as if you were on your yoga mat or meditating. And if you don’t do either of those things, practice breathing in for several counts and then out for several counts plus one more. In for three, out for four. Or if you are a deeper breather, in for five and out for six. This sort of measured breathing is wonderful and if you’ve never tried it, now is the time. Even if you don’t have cords to release.
So there you are, breathing in a way that nourishes and relaxes your body and mind. Picturing this particular cord. Now, ask for help. Who do you go to when you need help of this kind? God, Creator, Angel Guide, Spirit, Universe? Whatever name you use, ask now for his/her/their help in releasing this tie.
And then visualize. I often picture these ties as golden scarves. Not totally negative, but binding in a way that inhibits my growth. So my visualization is one of literally untying. I picture the knot loosening, the ends sliding through, the cord gently slipping away. I picture myself respectfully nodding to the other person, wishing them well, and then stepping away to allow healing energy to flow between us.
That’s a peaceful process and it feels good. It feels like there’s benefit to both. Sometimes the cord isn’t quite so easy, though. Sometimes you might need to picture a key unlocking a heavy, rusty chain.
And sometimes you might not need to release the tie altogether. You can replace it with something more fitting. The inflexible rope becomes a shimmering wisp of infinite movement. You can visualize exactly what you need.
The last step? Asking for healing energy to bless everyone involved.
Wait, that’s not really the last step. The last step is to realize that if you still have contact with that person, the energetic cord can reform. It is up to you to keep it from becoming a negative again or dealing with it if it does.
The person I mentioned in the beginning of the last post? The one I have encountered while working on a project? I released the negative cord in my relationship with her. I can’t stop interacting with her. But I can, and did, release the hold she had on me and with it I released the way that was making me feel. We had another meeting about the project and I went into that meeting with a completely different feeling. And you know what? She reacted to me in a completely different way. It was grand.
Negative energetic ties can make you feel all kinds of awful. Physical symptoms manifest from the emotional stress. There is healing to be found in releasing them and there is a sense of empowerment gained as well.
I suppose that means the ties that bind can be blessed after all. Learn from them, release them, and take yet another step into awareness of your own energetic peace and power.