Control

This morning’s walk in the park yielded friendly hellos from the rest of the morning crowd and one small perfect herald of the changing season. A maple leaf, dressed in fall red, was on the path. Other leaves drifted down in that fall way they have…a meandering dance that draws the eye and makes the watcher very aware that change is upon us.

I admired the leaf and continued on my way, pondering how closely connected we used to be with nature and how her rhythms determined the course of our lives. Moon phases, weather patterns and when and how to harvest food were all key elements in creating a successful life.

And now? It seems like we worked hard until we could separate ourselves from what used to nurture and sustain us. Now many people spend their days in windowless cubicles. Others rush from office to car to home to car to various activities. Rush, rush, right past what used to be our essence.

We learned to control nature and the earth elements, at least to some extent, and in doing so we took a large step away from our connection to them. And, I think, to ourselves. We do that control thing, you know. We do it very well.

It happens in relationships, too. Remember that initial splendid falling in love phase, where your partner’s unique and wonderful qualities filled you with appreciation? You relished their individuality. You connected with them on a deep and personal level.

You did, until control sneaked in to change things. Then the very qualities that were so attractive initially became something that would be better if they were actually more like you would do, think, act, react, embrace. Control steps in to make things more manageable. To make things work better.

Now keep in mind, control is not always a bad thing. But it can push away the childlike appreciation of what is there before us and the elemental connection that is a product of heart and soul. It is more than okay to relate to our world and to each other based on that heart and soul connection. It is far more than okay.

It is essential.

Why? Because our rhythms are still connected with nature’s rhythms and to deny it results in feelings of imbalance and a difficult to define sense of being not quite as vibrant or energetic or even peaceful as we would like. And in our relationships the same kind of connection is the most basic foundation for true intimacy. The ability to relate energetically without judgment or control brings the opportunity for a depth of bonding that takes away the need to have that person be just the way you think they should be or just like you.

It comes down to the ability to open ourselves and stop getting in our own way. To relate without control is a gift we can give ourselves. It will bring a completely different level of peace and power into our lives.

Reclaiming that connection with nature and with others is really what power is all about.

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