The number three is interestingly significant. A set of three, or a triad, has long been considered sacred. The attributes of the set are said to manifest and solidify in a series, representing ideas, energies, universal laws. Respect for the number three appears throughout history in many cultures. The symbol of the triad, or the trinity, crosses boundaries between countries and faith practices.
It’s just around a lot, you know?
I recently had an experience and then another similar experience. These taught me something and I commented to someone that I thought I had learned the lesson and would not need a third experience to fully engage my attention. Guess I was wrong, because I got the third lesson. After that I really pondered what I was meant to learn.
I’m not here to tell tales on people in my little world, so I’ll be vague in the details. The people involved were all different but the experiences were markedly the same. Each had an element of someone wanting me to do something. And each time I progressed with the doing of those things (all different) the result was not pleasing.
Was this because of the people involved or because of me?
Well, both, I think. Trying to look at this dispassionately…and that is difficult, mind you, since I am the one involved…I’ve concluded that the initial issue each time was with the other person. So that’s on them. But the follow up each time was on me. Why? Because there was, in each experience, a clear mandate that I should have followed in order to protect my own time, my own talents and my own energy.
And I did not do that. Not the first time, not the second time, and not the third time. Consider me smacked right upside my fool head now, thank you very much. But I’m smiling as I write this because it was a lesson I obviously needed to learn and it took three experiences in order to bring it on home.
Self, meet limits. How do you do, limits? I believe you’re here to protect me. Ahhh, yes, but you require my cooperation.
Now what’s really interesting is that I’m not at all chagrined about the lesson. I knew I had boundary challenges and that this was something I absolutely had to work through. I’m sure I meant to make time to do exactly that. But you know how it goes when something is meant for us to learn. Making time doesn’t always factor into the process. We put it off. A basic truth, though, is that if there is something to be learned, time makes us whirl and swirl right on into the experience.
So no, I wasn’t chagrined. Not after the fact. During? Oh, sure. Each experience began with me taking time to do something, create something, work on something, make something happen. Each experience involved other people who were initially very open and free with their directives. I heard things like “whatever you want” and “it’s open” and each time I confirmed those directives and went off to create.
And each time, with a bit of variety, the person issuing the directive changed everything…sometimes completely…in terms of the parameters. Often without communicating to me, even when I was trying hard to achieve some kind of communication with them.
The result was frustration on my part and wasted effort.
Now, how does that relate to setting boundaries? In each experience I did not give myself the security and the support that boundaries provide. In other words, I did not respect myself as much as I deserved. So while the frustration I encountered was specifically due to the actions of three separate people, it was also due to the lack of value I placed on my own time and talents.
I won’t be doing that again.
As I write this I’m nearly gleeful because I know that being disrespected and undervalued is something I have experienced pretty much all my life. In order to fully move forward with energy work and to cast aside the remnants of how that feels, I needed one good push. That came in this triad of lessons.
What I’d like you to take away from this is the realization that when you encounter cluster lessons…a trinity surely meant to get your attention…then GIVE it your attention and dig around a bit to discover (or confirm) what you’re meant to learn. This is no coincidence. It’s an opportunity. Positive energy flows and these lessons can nudge us to remove the blocks that slow it down.
Working through these lessons is empowering. And when you’re done, you get to move on. Does this mean you won’t encounter the situations that prompted the growth? Of course not. You’ll surely encounter similar situations. You’ll probably encounter the same people. What do you do about that?
You remember that they might indeed be the same in all ways. They might approach you with the same energy. They might initiate the same experience.
But you? You aren’t the same. Growth changes us and we soar onward. You aren’t the same at all after a triad of growth lessons. So your dynamic with that person will be completely different. They might not understand why, but they will know something has changed.
What has changed will be you. No longer engaging at that level, no longer spinning in frustration. Yippee!
I will encounter all three of my lesson prompters again. I’m not concerned about that at all. I’m not going to smugly dance a jig in front of them and thumb my nose, but I will bask quietly in what I’ve learned about myself.
That’s enough, really. That’s everything!
Positive Chi Blessings 