Holding it all together

Today I went shopping for a wedding present. The store I went to had the couple’s registry, so I was able to get what they wanted easily. This store also has a wrapping station. Great! I marched over and started that process.

Well. I am wrapping challenged. I always have been. I can cut the paper the right size, usually. And I can cover up the item and get the edges all ready for tape. At that point something happens. The edges slip. The ends bunch up and won’t fold smoothly. Things start to fall apart.

My solution for this issue? Tape, and lots of it. Ohhh, I do love me some tape. Plant enough of that stuff on a package and the edges will stay together for a very long time. It’s not always a pretty result, but it works. 

So that’s packages. But what about people? What about when things go wrong in our lives? Tape doesn’t work so well then, does it? When you are challenged, what holds you together?

Some people will have an immediate answer. Faith, maybe. Family. Friends, or one friend in particular. It might be a certain thought, book, prayer, song, routine or chocolate treat that works for you. But if you can’t think of anything, maybe it’s time to consider what acts as tape in your life.

And then use it. Liberally. For me, one things that holds me together on a regular basis is meditation. If I miss a few days, I feel it. I start to feel discombobulated. My edges start to unfold. I know that it’s time to take some quiet moments for myself and to recharge my batteries. Meditation is my tape.

Oh, and there are other things as well. Yoga, working out, walks outside, prayer, mindful awareness, affirmations. My days include a mixture of those things. Why? Because my goal is to keep from needing extra tape and instead to remain put together.

So you find what works for you. Experiment. Make whatever you try a part of your routine in a way that adds what you want to your life. 

And keep those edges together.

The thrill, the chill and the spill

It’s gardening time here. Flowers in the ground, flowers on the front porch, flowers on the deck. When I was planting the containers that now provide bursts of color here and there I thought about how I learned to make them pretty.

A big container needs three kinds of plants. Something to thrill, something to chill and something to spill. The thrill is generally right in the middle and it has the height. The chill is placed around the thrill and it provides steady interest. And the spill goes tumbling out of the container and connects it in an attractive way with the surrounding area. 

Of course, you have to have a big enough container to get all three elements in there. I do, and I like picking out my thrill, chill and spill every year. It’s an easy way to give a bit of ooh and aah to my garden.

What about to my life? I think about life a good bit while I’m gardening. Digging in the dirt is grounding. Nope, not going for the laugh there. It’s true. Digging connects me to the earth and the earth is a fine source of calm strength. So life thoughts seem natural.

I think planter philosophy applies to our lives. A large planter is balanced by having a thrill, a chill and a spill. What about a life? The thrill provides excitement and a nice burst of wowie zowie. The chill is the routine, the regular, the necessary. And the spill? That’s the outreach…how you share what you’ve learned or the ways you have been blessed.

You can have all thrill, of course. But what sustains you? What secures you? If you live a life of all thrill, how do you know any sense of inner calm and when do you pass on some of your time and your talents?

If you have all chill, where is the excitement or the challenge? What makes you grow? What makes you giggle and grin?

All spill would leave you without anything to replenish your own needs. Giving is a beautiful thing. But no person can give and give forever without emptying their emotional reserves. 

Balance makes a planter a thing of beauty. Life balance does the same for us. When we soar, when we replenish, when we give back we become the beautiful creation that the universe intended. Take a look at your thrill, chill and spill balance. What do you need to plant next?

Behold…it’s Spring

Behold, my friends, the spring is come; the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun and we shall soon see the results of their love!   ~~~Sitting Bull

I get a bit giddy in the spring. There’s just something about the fresh-washed vibrancy that makes me kick up my heels and frisk about. Every time I pass by my flowers I check for signs of progress. Earth and sun, loving embraces…well, I know what that means. Sprouts and leaves and plenty of them. Buds and then…oooh, the glorious day when those buds become blooms. 

*sigh*

It’s such a juicy time. Sitting here in my second floor perch with a nice big double window I can pretend to be in a tree house. There are two big hardwoods in the yard behind me and they are decorated with leaves in that only-found-in-spring color of tender green. A sweet shade, seemingly delicate but capable of withstanding the somewhat capricious spring weather and of growing and stretching and taking on the darker, rich tone of summer.

It’s all so familiar, this spring ritual. And yet, even so, each year it’s new. I love this newness and the feeling of promise and possibilities that goes with it. Seems like a good time to bring that philosophy into our lives and not just admire it as part of our surroundings.

A lot of people make their resolutions and start their new routines in January, after the ball has dropped and the champagne has been sipped and the festive holidays draw to a close. Beginning of the year, time to make some changes. And there’s nothing wrong with that, if it works.

But spring also makes a dandy time to embrace something new. Because that’s what we’re doing already, right? Spring cleaning, spring wardrobe change. Get the winter salt and sand washed off the car. Some towns even send around the street washer vehicles to do the same for our roads. There’s a general sense of getting ready and of encouraging all the new growth. How about your own growth?

Spring is a lovely time to embrace some new routines. Maybe a few sun salutations to start your day? Maybe a bit of experimenting with a journal or a gratitude list. A new workout routine? 

The quiet landscape of winter is pushed away by the enthusiasm of grass and leaves and flowers. Birds sing their excitement to be finding that special nest area and that special mate. What once was a gentle hush during a winter snowfall is now a burst of sound and sensation.

So maybe you do a bit of that yourself. A new hobby? A new garden? A new relationship? If you’re not sure, one of the nicest ways to get in touch with whatever spring thoughts you might be having is to get yourself to a park, sit on the lush green grass with your back against a sturdy tree, close your eyes and let your senses take over. 

And then write it all down and decide what appeals. 

That’s one of the bestest, most magical things about spring. You can spring as well, from wherever you were to wherever you want to be. Like any movement, it takes the first thought and then the first step. 

Why not take that step? The earth is giving you plenty of company.

Life stands before me like an eternal spring, with new and brilliant clothes. ~~~Carl Friedrich Gauss

 

WYSIWYG

What you see is what you get.

This is a popular acronym for a popular phrase. Truth in advertising, take me as I am, straight-forward, plain-talking it is what it is kind of philosophy. What you see is what you get.

But…is it? And…should it be?

When it comes to advertising, fine. When it comes to people, not so much. Because this WYSIWYG philosophy means there is no need to look deeper. And if you’re considering the relationships in your life, the real ones, whether established or in that interesting development stage, don’t you actually *want* to look deeper? Isn’t going beyond what you see the actual point of a relationship?

I think most of us, at some level, want to be considered worth the effort someone might put forth to look deeper. Most of us want to be liked, to be loved, to be valued for what we are, but the challenge is that what we are goes well beyond that initial first impression. Don’t get me wrong, first impressions are interesting and not without value. But they are also not quite enough. Like Paul Harvey used to say, there is far more revealed by the rest of the story.

I have a favorite quote about this topic. Yes, I know. Of course I do. 

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Or maybe not Emerson. The quote is also attributed to Henry David Thoreau and to Oliver Wendell Holmes. The only way to figure out who exactly said it is to…love the way this ties into the topic…dig deeper. <side note…have you noticed that really famous people get to use all three of their names?> 

Okay, so the thing is…what we’ve experienced does contribute to who we are and what we will experience does as well. But you can’t define anyone by what they have gone through until you really KNOW about it. You won’t know about it until you get past the WYSIWYG. Their job, their circumstances, their five-year plan all might tell you something about them on a surface level. Good stuff, sure. Good surface stuff.

What lies within us is the essence of our being. It’s our core, our strength, our values, our philosophies. It’s our source, our energy, our power. What lies within us is something worth knowing…and by that I mean that it is worth knowing about ourselves, not just about others. When you are able to go past your own public presentation, you’ll develop a relationship with yourself that sets the tone for any relationship you might develop with someone else. And when you value someone enough to go past their own public presentation, you will then have the start of something amazing.

What you see is what you get? Not hardly. What you see is the first enticing glimpse. Is it enough? Sure, maybe sometimes it is enough.

And maybe sometimes…it’s not. 

 

Motion

Lots of changes in the life of this blogger lately. Lots of changes. I’m excited to be heading off in new directions. Has each of these directions been exactly what I planned? Nope. Am I thrilled with what I am learning, doing and experiencing? Yes. Did I know everything and how it would happen right from the start? Of course not. But I did know one thing. I knew that I had to actually get started, in some direction, with some kind of action, in order to get things going.

In other words, I had to embrace the concept of motion.

Simple, right? Sure, in theory. In reality, though, taking action and actually getting off the fence or out of the cozy, safe cave is very difficult. Sometimes we need to cocoon for a bit and that’s okay. For a bit. But once the healing and dwelling is done we have to emerge from that cocoon in order to spread those wings and rock on with our amazing lives. We don’t have to know everything but we do have to know something.

We have to know that we are worth the effort and we have to actually make the effort for ourselves. 

Instead of, say, waiting for someone else to make the effort. Or waiting for life to come up to our cocoon and announce that it’s time. Or waiting for the right job, the right partner or the right anything to come into our lives.

Growth, in some curious way, I suspect, depends on being always in motion just a little bit, one way or another.  ~Norman Mailer

The fellow in the photo isn’t going anywhere quickly, but he is in motion. And he will get there, wherever his destination might be. 

You’ve visualized. Now what?

Here’s the deal. Visualization is great. It can be motivating. It can be thrilling. It can be inspiring. Visualization is like going to the movies, but the plot is your life and you are the star. Oh, and whatever you want to have happen is the action. So you can be caught up in a Zombie Apocalypse (um…you want this?) or you can be immersed in fulfilling work with a wonderful romantic partner and close friendships and…and…and…you get the idea.

This is visualization. You see it and then you add in your other senses so that little movie of your life is so vivid you are somewhat surprised that it’s not actually in place yet when you open your eyes. The thing about visualization? It’s not an instant gratification kind of event.

You can lie on your couch and visualize for ten minutes a day, every day, and you can lie there waiting. Yep. Waiting for the moment that your visualization will come true. Because that’s what it’s all about, yes? Dream big dreams and let them find you?

Well. Maybe it’s about something more. Maybe it’s about dreaming big dreams…or whatever sized dreams suit your mood and your moment and your motivation…and then, instead of fluffing the pillows and looking expectantly at the front door, waiting for the dreams to march on into the living room, getting up. Yes, get right up off of that couch and keep your visualization vividly stored in your mind and start the baby steps that will lead to it.

You have a role in this, beyond the visualizing part. You, wonderful dreamer, get to not only think up the dream but you get to help make it manifest in your life.

I love this quote by Harriet Tubman.

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

Oh, yeah. Way to say it, Harriet.

You, dreamer, get to start moving towards your dream fulfillment. Because it takes action, you know, and you are the action figure in this dream. You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to even know what exact direction to take. Just get up and do something, go somewhere, head off in pursuit of it all and by golly, you’ll make manifesting magic happen.

Because it’s not magic. But it is manifesting.

So take, for example, someone who dreams (vividly) of losing twenty pounds. This person visualizes it with all the wonderful details. What she or he would wear once the weight was gone. What she or he could do once the weight was gone. How things would be different. How things would be better. The visualization includes views from all sides and the appropriate emotions that would go along with the weight loss. Maybe there’s a specific reason this weight loss is needed. Maybe it’s a health thing or a pregnancy thing or a want-to-fit-in-those-jeans thing.

Our dreamer conceives of every detail and creates a wonderful visualization. And then what? Sometimes, then, the dreamer starts talking about maybe kinda sorta pursuing the visualization. Someday.

“I’m going to lose that weight. Yes, I am. In the spring I’m going to join a gym. I just need to get the right clothes and the right shoes and figure out what gym I should join. But I’ll do it. In the spring.”

Or maybe they’ll do it when they have a workout partner. Or when things settle down and they have more time. Maybe it’s overwhelming, because twenty pounds seems like a lot.

You know what? Twenty pounds IS a lot. So how about starting with two pounds? How about starting by getting out and using the shoes you have and the clothing you have and going for a walk. A fifteen minute walk. Every day.

Don’t hold onto the idea that a fifteen minute walk every day is not going to make twenty pounds disappear from your body. Hold onto the thought that you are starting. You are taking action. Go, you! And then start. Take action. Seriously. Go…you.

Because nothing happens if we sit still and wish for it. And everything happens when we rise up and take action. Sometimes it’s not what we thought about initially. Sometimes once we’re going, we head off on all kinds of other roads and explore other paths and oooh, what’s that door over there and wow, guess what I discovered. Or guess what I’m learning about. Or guess what I just tried.

So for the weight loss dreamer, getting up and getting out and simply moving is a start. Who knows where that start will lead? Maybe someone else will be walking and then there will be company. Maybe that someone else will mention that they have wanted to try Zumba at the rec center but don’t want to go alone. Maybe, three weeks after starting with a simple fifteen minute walk our weight loss dreamer is now walking thirty minutes, but only every other day because Zumba was so much fun it’s become part of the schedule.

And the two pounds become five pounds. And the five pounds become ten.

All because the visualization turned into some kind of steps (literally, in this case) to achieve it.

This example can be used for someone who visualizes a new relationship. It can be used for people who visualize a new job. Start with the dream and then pursue it. We all, like Harriet Tubman said, have the strength, the patience and the passion to pursue our dreams. We just need to get started.

Oh, and that happy panda photo? He looks like he gleefully visualized his favorite snack and then found himself living the dream by eating it. Not that he didn’t have to take steps, you know. He meandered right on over to the pile of bamboo. And then he sat on it.

See it, feel it, live it

Visualization.

1. Form a mental image. Imagine. 2. Make (something) visible to the eye.

Visualization is not so much daydreaming, though it is in a way. And it’s not so much meditation, though it is in a way. Consider it a little bit of both, but with a bit more thrown in.

Why visualize?

There are various studies that indicate the benefits of visualization for athletes or for anyone focused on improving a current situation or attaining a specific goal. It all can be summed up with the idea that thoughts become things. If you see it, if you feel it, you can live it.

Is it magic? All we have to do is visualize and our dreams will become true? Yay, we never have to leave the couch!

Um…no. That’s not the way it works. There is no magic here, but there is a lot of power. If you visualize a certain goal, that is your first step towards attaining it. The other steps involve actually getting up and…well…you know. Stepping. Your visualization starts the process. You follow up and you continue to feed your dream by creating it in your heart and in your soul and in your mind.

Visualization brings peace and focus to what can be a busy or confusing day (week…month…year). Consider it a time out when you put aside the conflicting input that often fills our minds and you breathe, concentrate and dwell on a positive image. Whether this is a career goal, a life goal, a fitness goal or a relationship goal does not matter. It’s your goal and your dream. And in that moment it’s your reality.

See, that’s the thing about visualization. You infuse the moment with not only an image but with feeling. Bring your joy to it and imagine exactly how wonderful it is to be…okay, now. Insert your dream here. In this sweet moment of quiet time, you ARE what you have visualized. You own it, baby. It’s yours, that achievement.

Visualization is intense concentration on the specific goal but not intense worry about how to get there. In other words, in your visualization you are already there. You aren’t tensing up and wondering how it will happen. You aren’t inserting thoughts about what all could deter you or how you really should be thinking about something else right now and who has time to picture future goals. You are living it right then and there in your mind and you are feeling the joy.

Bring all your senses to the moment. Sight, sound, taste, touch, smell. And then bring feeling into the moment as well. Wallow in it. Bask in it. Rejoice in it.

Want some science? Research has shown that the same neural pathways in the brain are activated when you vividly imagine doing something as when you really do it. Is that cool, or what?

One way to get started with visualization is to star in your own movie. In your mind, of course. So find a quiet spot and if it’s too quiet, put on some sort of music where you aren’t concentrating on the words. Get comfortable but not so comfortable that it becomes nap time instead of visualization time. Practice some measured breathing here. Breathe in to the count of four (or six or eight…you get the idea), hold, and then breathe out in the same steady pace. The idea of this is to quiet your body, regulate your breathing and draw your focus inward.

Once you are in the peaceful mode, imagine a wonderful movie screen. And guess what? You are the star of the movie. So there you are…in great big wonderful color…doing, living, being exactly as you dream. It’s you, truly you, and by golly look how much you are savoring your life. The details are all there. You look so happy. No, wait…you ARE so happy. So very happy and fulfilled that you feel it right then and there, filling you.

There are a lot of visualization exercises out there and you can explore any of them that appeal, but I like this one because you are the star in your own life and it’s easy to picture exactly what you want.

The definition of visualization is interesting. Did you notice?

1. Form a mental image. Imagine. That’s just what we were doing with this exercise.

2. Make something visible to the eye. That’s just what happens when you bring intense focus and feeling to a visualization.

Imagine first and then make it visible. See it. Feel it. And then…live it.

Next post…taking those important steps after visualizing.